Amy's funeral was today. I got through it without losing it, but when setting up for the event yesterday, it felt wrong. I've done hundreds of these events in my 16 years of working there, but this is the first time that it felt completely wrong, like a bad dream.
Last week things were fine. I was getting ready for (and looking forward to) Spring Break. Last Thursday I was prepping for class. Today I was mourning a friend who hadn't even turned 30. Last Thursday I was business as usual. Today I was trying recall the last time I'd seen her. What was the last thing I said to her? Amy was such a normal part of life around there that when she left us, it was as if the sun wasn't going to come up ever again. When working on my class today I still had to fight the urge to pick up the phone and call her for some help.
I know that with time all wounds will heal, but this one may take awhile. Tonight my wife and I sat out on the deck while I cooked burgers on the grill and we talked. Life was slowly returning to normal. I'm lucky to have my wife. She knows me better than I know myself most times, and she's good therapy. She's also one of a kind.
To quote one of my favorite comedians:
I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again!
I realize that someone may have said it before Jerry Lewis, but I'll let the attribution and the sentiment stand. Amy, you were one of a kind, and I'm a better person for having known you.
And to my wife, thanks for getting me through this. You were there when I needed you, and I'm lucky to have you in my life. I love you